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GROSSMAS CULINARY FESTIVITIES

The 2025 Grossmas Celebration
The 52nd Anniversary
Was held at:
George's Steakhouse
2208 S Memorial Dr, Appleton, WI 54915

Pre and or Post Party
Cleo's Brown Beam
203 W College Ave, Appleton, WI 54911

Grossmas Etiquette

1. No utensils, waitress is to collect or place in the middle of the table.
2. No socially acceptable finger food. (tacos, sandwiches, chicken, etc..)
3. Tossed salad is to be shared.
4. Spills are not necessarily off limits.
5. Deserts must be shared.
6. Napkins are allowed.
7. Must be of legal drinking age and/or of the age of consent.
8. Eating off other people's fingers is encouraged. (other body parts at participant's discretion)

The Archives

The following restaurants have been utilized for Grossmas celebration since the revival of Grossmas.
Sorry; our brains have been so fried through the years, we don't remember all the places we've been, nor the exact years we've been there, but here is a list of places we have DEFINITELY celebrated Grossmas, and a commentary on each.

"George's Steakhouse" Appleton WI 2025
Review written by Voort

It's currently -6 feels like -24 in Little Chute. Merry frickin' Grossmas to all and to all a gross day. It's the 52nd year of the celebration of Grossmas. Some have been there all along, some Grossmas virgins, some have never missed since they were introduced to it. Some have been one and done but all who participated have left their mark and the memories will remain for their entire lives. All are welcome though few are truly chosen. Merry Grossmas y'all and to all a gross night.

Well Grossmas 2025 was q little subdued without Guy in attendance. Glad those that made it braved the cold and came. Greg and Nancy made to trek from Beloit Lindsay, Gordo, Stef, and sorry I forgot Stef's friends name. Bobbi and Sandy. Amie, Chloe and Luke, Yo and Joe. Doug and Elsa. Mick and Megan. Hey I'm getting old. Dave and Missy. I think that's everyone. It seemed like everyone had a good time and enjoyed to service and food at George's Steakhouse.

"Legends Eatery & Brewhouse" Green Bay 2005
Review written by Gish

So everyone, For all who were there, this is what you don't remember. For those who weren't, here's what you missed.

This year will go down as the intimate Grossmas, with only eighteenpeople grossin' out. Dubious weather and sudden changes in plans probably accounted for that.

The gang met at Cleo's, as usual, and enjoyed Grossmas carols, Alabama Slammas and Dirty Snowballs. Dave Gilbertson actually brought along a little Grossmas tree, decorated with a little tampon snowman on the top.

Mike "Twitch" Pawlowski joined for the second year in a row, and he and Guy posed for a reunion shot of the thirty year old Grossmas tree shot in the Sacred Heart yearbook. Only sad thing was that Bill Kempen wasn't there to shoot it . Also, returning for the first time since the infamous Kelly Jean Grossmas was Jon Wentz, all the way from the Mini Apple.

After awhile, it was on to the greater Green Bay area to the Legacy where ample chairs were set out for the crew. Good beers on tap served quickly. Virgins this year included Mike's Linda and Joe's Lisa, who turned out to be Guy's 'behind the yard" neighbor when they were kids. Also joining us for the heck of it and not for supper was Rita who was Baldry and is now somebody else, the revered Sacred Heart class president. It was probably the largest gathering of Sacred Heart class of seventy five since the fifteenth year reuniion at Bay Beach. Which was also the last one!

Food was good. Fine soups and salads to be fingered, although Berg and Gehrman had to do a body cavity search of Dierdra to find her hidden utensils. Main courses included great steaks, walleye, and fettuccini, all finger lickin good. Someone else's finger, of course. An appetizer of coconut encrusted shrimp got around to seven lucky people, and Guy, who bought the stuff. Desserts were really good, with the brownie sundae being about the best. Rita licked some of the cream off Guy's finger after Twitch tried all night to get his food in her mouth. See, Mom always did like Guy best. Sandy and Jamie gorged themselves on the brownie delight and finished just in time to try to eat all of Sandy's triple chocolate cake she ordered then forgot about.

Afterward, people retired to the bar room, because the weather was too crummy to go anywhere else. Guy bought a shot of Goldschlager, which Schmitty dutifully filled with cigarette ashes. One bar wench was impressed with the scene and gave both of them a big smackeroo. When people returned from the bar room we visited awhile and suddenly realized it was sort of quiet in the room. . . No Voort. A call on the cell phone confirmed Voort sneaked and leaked out with his darling and was heard of no more that night. He must have still been fatigued from his stay in the Banana Republic. We continued to visit and BS a lot. Jon and Guy retired to the bar room for another drink and as they were waiting at the bar there was a sudden boom right next to them. The same wench who smacked Schmitty and Guy now smacked the floor with her butt, too drunk to stand any more. Guy and Jon helped her off the floor and she took off in a huff leaving the guy she was supposed to go home with, who just watched her as she fell. They walked back into the bar to find everyone ready to leave and call it another Grossmas night.

The waitstaff was left with, besides the usual great tips, the Grossmas tree, now fully decorated with condoms, used napkins, lemon peels, and other gross items. We figured it was useless to bring it back to Voorts to put out in the traditional way, because he'd be sleeping anyway.

So that was it for another year. Next year we hope to double our crowd,with a little help from the weather and more stable dinner reservations. But then, Voort is prohibited from going out of the state between ArgsGrossing and Grossmas from now until eternity, so things should always be jolly from this point on.

Respectfully regurgitated by Guy Gehrman, December twenty first, double ott five.

"The Red Fox" Black Creek 2004
Review written by the Voort

Grossmas 31 indeed an interesting evening one surely to "GO DOWN" as one of the best Grossmas ever. The Red Fox was into it...the virgins were into it .. the veterans were into it.. future virgins wanting to get into it... ALL GOOD.

Cleo's was good at getting the party started first for potential future virgins and second for random acts of lip gloss and photo ops of some long dismissed as missing in action once again found. I would like to commend those who return year after year and find new ways to bring new fun and experiences to the night.

The festivities are definitely getting to be more R- Rated as years go on. Not complaining in anyway...Undergarments are getting fancier and felt more often pushing the limits of accepted social behavior MOST EXCELLENT INDEED. After dinner drinks straight from the blender was messy but fun ( why does my shirt have all this sticky stuff on it? ) Grossmas Cds were passed out by the Bergermeister at random to those he felt worthy. 21 guests partook of many delicious menu items the table (sans utensils was a nice touch, and the finger bowl too ).

In all a great time was had by all, I think, I just wished I didn't have to get up so early this morning. Ah sucks to be the working class. No lottery winnings yet.. Early retirement not in the immediate future for me. DAMN! Had a great time and wonder how long we can continue to make improvements to an already great time. Great to see all our past friends from the past and nice to meet our new friends and future friends. Merry Grossmas Everyone.

"Adler Brau Restaurant and Pub" Appleton 2003
(a Voort's eye view)

Ah with a couple of weeks past since the 30th celebration of Grossmas the memories still linger as though it was just a couple of weeks ago. So there! What can I say but AWESOME time, and so many virgins so little time. Many Grossmas first happened that night and one can only hope that this is a precursor of events to happen in the future. The numerous virgins although slow starting really got into the Grossmas spirit of things and showed some veterans how to let thing rock. Quite a diverse group of people were in attendance, lawyers, bankers, teachers, average Joes, etc.

John Jungers at Adler Brau once again outdid himself to make our group feel welcome. He bottled the commemorative Grossmas Ale and had 32 bottles on the table awaiting us. The only ones in existence quite a collector’s item. Food was great and some people even partook in eating beef for the first time in three years. I was reminded that she was referring to "BEEF not MEAT" ah Mike truly is a lucky bastard. One virgin and two veterans disgraced the activities by ordering pizza which caused them to be chastised and their banning of future Grossmas is still being discussed. The horror. I'm sure their life is less fulfilled in knowing that they insulted the Grossmas Gods and may their lives be the sterile environment that they want it to be. Live in your bubble but dare not drag the rest of us down to your level of disgust and depravity.

Getting back to the events of the evening the group assembled at Cleo's and it was great to see the new faces and old friends that we have not seen since last year. Dutch and Kathy Van Rooy were there for drinks but bailed on the eating festivities again. Don't believe they had a good reason this year but what the hell at least they drank with us. Drinks were consumed and Grossmas carols were sung. Traditional actives were explained to some virgins as we tried to enlighten them into the quantum reality that is Grossmas. Some welcomed the ideals with open arms other were unsure of just what they had gotten themselves into. Anticipation was high to say the least. As previously mentioned the Grossmas Ale was on the tables waiting to be devoured and the orders were taken. Salads and soup arrived and were soon shared and savored for all. Main courses arrived with many different items to choose from. Tenderloins, Prime Rib, Fish, German Cuisine, Mexican and still horrified by the dreaded Pizza. Hurts me even to type that. Desserts seemed a little scarce but some were still shared and enjoyed. After dinner the gathering clan dispersed into smaller groups some going home to absorb all they had experienced, some to the bar to continue the debauchery, still others to play Laser Quest and battle to the death. In all a rewarding night filled with great food, great friends, great lust, and great lasting memories. Hope you all had a very Merry Grossmas and your memories are as fondly remembered as mine.
Voort

...and another review from Gish
Generally speaking, I preserved more brain cells this year than last year, so I can remember more of what went on. However, our group was so big this year (32 people!) that I probably was not aware of all the goings on.
The usual and unusual suspects rounded up at Cleo's for pre dinner warm up. O to have been one of 16 vestal virgins (little allusion to Procol Harem there) arriving without really knowing what they were getting into. Speaking of which, Jamie and Steve invited a couple whom they really didn't tell what this was about -- they thought this was to be a regular dinner party -- HA! Dave Gilbertson and Cheryl's sister Nancy brought some virgins as well, bringing our numbers up to the largest ever. We also had children of gross revelers show up for the first time as Steve Weyers and his sweetie Sarah joined us. I'm afraid as we all get older, this may become a more frequent occurrence. GREAT! At hint of what was to come surfaced as drinks were shared, appetizers were shared, and ice flew before taking off to the Adler Brau Brewery at Between the Locks. Dutch and Kathy Ven Rooy left after joining us for drinks, but did entertain many with the book of Palindromes they brought along.

Our tables weren't quite ready when we got to the Brewery, so Guy went off and found out how useless he was at Ms. Pac Man, and a few pieces of body art were displayed. Sarah had a pretty butterfly, and someone else had a mouse that was missing. . . consumed by some feline dwelling below the belt line.

When we reached our tables, we were amazed to see everyone was blessed with their own bottle of Grossmas Ale, supplied by John Jungers, the owner of the place.The bottle featured a poor but recognizeable picture of Alice Cooper in a Santa outfit along with the slogan "3 Decades of Gross". The back featured "Grossmas Ale. It's for our party. Rules, because we don't have any, People need to know It's the Dumacratic way!

That did it! Gross abandon took over. First, chips and salsa were shared, preferably mouth to mouth. It really didn't matter with whom. Your spouse, the girl next to you, the guy next to you, someone from the other table. Whatever. Then John came to join the fun and pictures were taken of John with the virgins, then John with the veterans. One of the virgins was a worker in the emergency room of a hospital, and he merrily shared appetizers with everyone, claiming Grossmas was nothing next to what he encounters at work (Dean, are you listening? We're starting to attract more of your kind. Get your ass back here!).

Finally the food came, and everything was shared with everyone else. Little bit of everything happened. Gary (or was it Greg?) refused to share. He just wasn't ready for this. Dana and Katie ate pizza -- hey, I'm not afraid to name names and reveal who cheated. Gina ate beef for the first time in three years. She had to psych up for it, though -- she had actually done research on Grossmas before coming. Even sasquatch made an appearance -- or was that Voort without his shirt on? Dessert came and went very fast, but that's because the one ordering it ate one bite and the rest went around the table! Afterward, the wait staff was left to clean up and collect the geneous tips (always tip well at Grossmas).

After a shot or two at the bar, some went home, some ran away, and others went off for Laser tag. New place this year, and it was awesome! Two levels of places to hide, mist and black light creating an eerie atmosphere. Fr. Grossmas dominated. Jamie found a little place near the top to pick off people below her and pile up her score. Some people went off into secluded corners and hid, some followed around their favoite target and blasted away, and all had a good time.

Sound fun? Absolutely. For all of you who have never come to Grossmas or haven't been there for awhile, don't you think it's time for you to join in? Can't say for sure, but I think this years's festivities will be on December 11th. Stay tuned for more details, though.

"Adler Brau Restaurant and Pub" Appleton 2002
(As seen through the squinted eyes of the "Voort")

Grossmas 2002 was a success in all senses of the word. The group met at Cleo's as usual and some of those that could not attend the meal stopped in there to say Hi. After some consumption of alcoholic beverages we left to go eat at Adler Brau. Let me tell you even though our numbers did not meet the 31 who were scheduled to attend the ones who did made up for it. We had many new virgins Mike, Nancy, Missy, Greg, and some returning from previous absences plus the die hard, hard core regulars. The wait staff was great and the owner went out of his way to make us feel welcome. Gave us a tour and invited us back. Imagine that. Many shirts were exchanged in the dining room and the food which was all good was shared too. Not sure what everyone ordered but I think I tried it all. Missed out on most of the deserts though. I was busy some where I'm not sure. Not too sure of anything about last night actually. Not too drunk just had such a good time the evening was a blur. Got some new interest for next year and then some of us moved on to play a game of laser tag at Funset Boulevard others went directly to Fox River Brewery and were met there after the games. Hope everyone had a great time and look forward to Grossmas Ale next year for the 30th Anniversary. Lets all plan to make that one and make it a big turnout. Thanks again and Merry Grossmas to all.

(Another review from "Gish" whose brain remains on fire)

One and all,
Here is the annual rendition of the Gross activities of this year's Grossmas celebration. Please feel free to rely on other descriptions of the event, for much of what I'm about to scribble down is hearsay from those who didn't lose as many brain cells as I did that night.

Cleo's was crowded when we got there, but slowly cleared out so at least we could see each other. Alabama Slammers were way too good and paved the way to memory loss later on. Dutch and Kathy Van Rooy were going to another party, but stopped in to wish us well in our revels. We recruited a couple people for future years, including the unusual Zoid. Mike, Nancy, and Missy were the respective virgins this year. Greg Guralski/Gerard/Banana was around at the inception of Grossmas, so it isn't quite right to call him a virgin. Schmitty behaved himself this year. I didn't.

After sufficient lubrication, we went to the Adler Brau microbrewery and eatery Between the Locks. Dinner was ordered and the feature on the menu was a beer sampler, with all the beers they brew coming on a platter in, as Richie Cunningham once said, "Teeny Weeny glasses" ("How many glasses did you have" asked Howard. "Seventy three" said Richie). Pumpkin spice beer was original and tasty, but they were all pretty good. The wait staff was into it, and several may join us next year.

As people moved amongst the tables enjoying each other's company, the spirit of Don Berg erupted and many shirts were passed. I don't know who all I changed with (my sister in law Cheryl was one) but somehow I wound back up with my own, but I was wearing Nancy's necklace. Suddenly, food was being served, and as I walked to my place, three pieces of meat were stuffed in my mouth by somebody. One was steak like, one was seafood like, and one was unrecognizable. When I got to my Black Forest schnitzel it was half gone, and I have no idea how much I ate. All the silverware was collected and thrown into a corner. When desserts came, Dierdra ate with her spoon. When Sandy pointed out the indiscretion to her, she said "Oh, yeah!" and threw her utensils into the corner with the rest of them.

After dinner we met the manager who was actually impressed with us. He gave us a tour of the microbrewery. Some of us got samples of the pumpkin spice bottles. I thought Nancy needed a crown, so I tried to buy one from a guy in line for the comedy club. Both he and Nancy agreed $55 was too much to spend on a crown, and I was glad they were adamant. The manager said if we came back next year, he would brew a Grossmas beer with a personalized bottle. He also said he would just put a bunch of food on the middle of the table and let us go at it, because that's what we did anyway.

From there it was on to Funset Blvd. where some played laser tag. Voort dominated, surviving without a scratch. The camo dudes did not like the idea of Dierdra trying on their uniforms. Sandy and I got lost in the wastes west of Hwy 41, but made it there to see the folks yet. I was disappointed the wave runner was gone. Neither Voort nor I could land a marlin on the fishing machine, but Voort did catch a chub or something.

After that, those who were still hearty took off to the Fox City Brewery for some video trivia. We couldn't beat Jack. Honestly, there was a guy named Jack there who was too good for us. We parted company and got home safely to start the long process of recovery.

Moral of the story: Drink less so I can remember more and write a better report. I don't need to drink to change shirts and eat with my fingers anyway. Especially now that I don't get cigarette ashes in my beverages. Spread the word my gross little friends, do some recruiting, and I hope to see you before next year.

"Lost Louies" De Pere 2001 (author: Gish)

The usual suspects gathered at Cleo's in Appleton. I don't know, it's been two years now that the clientele at Cleo's has been women in little black evening dresses and guys in slacks, ties, and coats. Lots of leather, and I don't mean Harley dudes. I think I liked the place better when it was frequented by gay guys. We may have to reconsider next year, although there is probably no place in the world that makes Alabama Slammas as good as they do. We did see one missy in a black dress who looked a lot like Seven of Nine (Jerri Ryan) from Star Trek Voyager. Berg went over and took a picture of her group just for laughs. They were clueless, but maybe Don will get her picture on the Grossmas page and you too will realize that with a little metal on her face, she's be a dead ringer. Voort didn't hit on her, though. Persistence is futile. You will be frustrated.

Lost Louie's had very few entrees appropriate for Grossmas. Too many sandwiches. Jean Berg gave into temptation and ordered one. Sad. Sorry Jean, you can't eat a sandwich gross. Wouldn't even let Schmitty take away your bread. The soup was good and gross, the duckling elegantly gross, and my prime rib was a big PIECE OF MEAT. What there wasn't in entrees there was in beer. Lots of great beers on tap. Made the place definitely fun.

There were many virgins at grossmas, but they are virgins no longer. Kate Berg attracted a minion of followers including the strange woman who identified herself merely as "Girl" when I introduced myself as "Guy". She was something else. She picked up a man named Gary in the bar and he joined us, making him the first official Grossmas pickup. He wimped out, however, by only ordering a cheese pizza (illegal food). He only ate half of it. Wasn't really in the spirit, but he was friendly enough to everyone. Still, it was clear he was just trying to get home with Girl that night. Wonder if he succeeded.Girl ordered pizza too, but it was a sloppy veggie pizza and she shared it around. She also gave some of the guys a Polish peep show, a trick performed with a personally wetted crook of the fingers, a bit of cigarette tobacco, and a spoon "mirror". She received the ire of Voort when she refused to hit on him.

Jim Schmitt showed up and again held us all to high gross standards. My beer once again included his cigarette ashes and sputum (which gave my black and tan a very large and foamy head). He made sure we all sampled his potatoes and dressing by hand. I kept refusing his prime rib because my piece of meat was bigger than his. After I demonstrated how to get into crab legs with your fingers, Dutch caught on but Schmitty never got the hang of it. I have to give him credit for making sure I always had enough rolls to sop up my soup with. Hats off to Marty Cormack, a welcome virgin from Rochester, Minnesota, for pointing out that cooling your soup with beer is effective and tasty too.

After dinner, the pile of napkins on the table looked like the mound of mashed potatoes Richard Dreyfuss made to look like Devil's Tower in Close Encounters. Schmitty's date chased Voort around with a tongs trying to extract and measure Voort's supposed world's longest chest hair. Voort should have stood there and donated it like a man. He has plenty to spare. Guy, Sandy, Dutch and Kathy went off to a table to admire Guy's big twenty inch. . . pepper grinder.

The crew then retired to the bar for more of the many varieties of beer. Some sort of double dog daring went on between Berg and one of Katie's friends, and the next thing you knew, Don had his shirt off, she had her shirt off (plain white bra, not sheer, but I didn't notice) and the two of them exchanged. Don looked buff in the tight red turtleneck. She looked gross in the red shirt and the yellow tie.

Things ended at the bar with Girl trying to convince Voort she should be allowed to come next year even though she wouldn't hit on him. Voort says no, but I think anyone should be allowed the opportunity to be gross.

Back at Voort's house, a small party burned a sacrificial fire, and the sap in the wood snapped like firecrackers (or were they firecrackers?) Voort and Guy put it out in the traditional way. Dar leaked out and missed the opportunity to go down in history as the first girl to join in the extinguishing. (Well, I guess that means she failed to leak out, doesn't it?) Voort did beat Guy's butt in You Don't Know Jack. There's no excuse for Guy.

Champaigne Chariles, Appleton 2000
Broken chairs and lots of alcohol, I don't remember much else, it must have been a good one.

"The Legacy", Appleton 1999:
A large Grossmas gathering with much food to share. Manager did not seem too pleased with condition of salad bar after we went through. Go figure. Afterwards, it was either to Cheryl and Dave's for drinks or back to Green Bay for a Figgs concert....a win, win situation.

"TUMBLEWEED", Appleton: A fitting place for the silver anniversary of Grossmas. Chops and steaks were great. Helium adds a lot to our Grossmas carols. Pooh Pooh undies take on a new meaning, thanks to the bachelorette's who unwittingly joined us. Check out those mega-beers. The holy grail of Grossmas.

"SERGIOS", Appleton: Good revival place for Grossmas, but too easy to cheat and eat in a cleanly fashion.

"SEIGOS", Appleton: Lots of fun! Private table and the chef was into it.

Flaming volcanos! Extinguish with some 151.

"JACKS OR BETTER", Little Chute: Tossed salad takes on a new meaning.

"LEGACY", Grand Chute: Owners were into it, Elvis impersonator in restaurant. Definite future possibilities.

"KARRAS'", Appleton: Godly! Too bad they're closed. Oh, did I forget to mention the waitress with the flaming cheese?

"LA VICTORIA", Appleton: Thought we were retarded, but we ate too neatly with our fingers.

"WILD ONION", De Pere: Bunch of stuffed shirts. Receives the Grossmas anathema.

"MONGOS", Appleton: Used to be the ultimate, now they can't take a joke.

"CHI CHI'S", Appleton: No cheating allowed. Shared build your own fajitas.

"CLEO'S", Appleton: An obnoxious warm-up to any Appleton Grossmas excursion. No longer, however, will you stick to the floor with Kelly Jean.

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